a beautiful life… living through loss.

First of all, shame on me for not blogging since April 25th!  I have been SOOO busy shooting and with the start of Wedding season.. so I guess since I am a photographer before blogger, I will forgive myself.. lol

Tonight is the Relay for Life. I can feel the tears welling up already, as I will light luminaria to honor Debby.. who just two years ago at Relay for Life, held my newborn Analeigh in her arms, knowing that her diagnosis of pancreatic cancer was uncertain but pretty dismal.

Last year we mourned the loss of her battle and lit 70+ luminaries that the community had purchased in her honor. (God BLESS You!) It was very evident to us that Debby had not only touched our lives, but many many other lives as well. We had a small team that raised over $2500 (I believe.)

This year, I have taken a large step back in fundraising, primarily just out of having a 2 year old daughter (who knew that a toddler would be so time consuming!) But I do plan to go down and purchase luminaries in Debby’s honor and to reflect on the difference she has made in my life. I am 100% confident that without Debby’s intervention in my life, Allie B Photography would not exist. So I owe a huge part of who I am to her life and her legacy.

I don’t understand God’s timing on this one.. Other than maybe “the lord giveth and the lord taketh away” because Ana was just born and I felt very much like i needed Deb. After hearing the diagnosis, I was paralyzed with grief and fear over raising Ana without Deb, but once I cried it out and realized that Deb was going to Heaven and she would get the salvation she had lived her life for, I was able to move on, knowing she would want that for those of us still left on this imperfect earth.Life has certainly not been easy without her, and there have been about a million times as a new mom that I have longed for Deb to be there but all in all, i think we survived Ana’s first two years with minimal long term damage to any of us, and we are a functioning healthy and happy family of 3. I even have the photographs to prove it… <3

xoxo,

allie