I am a pretty simple gal.
I have been a tomboy my entire life, and it was only after becoming a total grown up that I was okay wearing dresses. (LOVE them now, hello easy!) I have one necklace with three charms on it, my daughters name and birthday, a camera charm and a little piece of metal that says “HAVE FAITH” in honor of my late adoptive mom Debby who wears one of the same. I don’t wear a lot of make-up unless I am in the mood, and Analeigh said she is going to tell my mom on me.. so I better watch it on the makeup! I used to want to move into a two story house, with a large kitchen but no longer care about having “more” when what I have is so much more than “enough”. I just want to have a calm life full of moments that make me believe more and more and more in God.
That being said, I have felt called to live with a little “frivolity” lately..
Tonight Ana and I were at Big Lots picking up some decor for Full Circle Yoga for the holidays and Ana sees the pink, shimmery, pre-lit, gaudy but amazing mini trees… I knew I would get her one if she asked, because I love Christmas and can stand a little childish excitement at the holidays, especially the kind that is only $18. She asks, I look… no dice. All gone! I tell her “Sorry sister, they are out of pink.. they have white?” She says “OH man!” and doesn’t give me any grief. (How is she old enough to control her tears right now.?!) So, I dig.. and dig.. and look at every single box… and on the very bottom.. VIOLA! Sheer excitement! LOOK! I found one! And you better believe we bought silver tinsel and a star topper covered in glitter (I have a no glitter in the house policy.. that I totally blew.) She was so happy, I was so happy.. we put up the tree tonight in her room, she picked the spot, she plugged it in… we ooooo’d and aaaah’d and it was a true Christmas memory. Ana’s first tree in her room. Sweet necessary frivolity.
I could have easily said no, or taken her acceptance that there were no more pink trees to be had as an out. But instead, I felt called to reward her contentment with frivolous purchases of things we do not remotely need, but that brought great joy. It was worth the $25.
Another thing I have noticed that has made a HUGE difference in my marriage, is that I have began to never hold back love. If I get the urge to kiss Tim, I do it, right then… even if he is elbow deep in dish soap (which maybe is why I had the urge to begin with). Let’s say I am out and think “I wonder if Tim would like a Stoked Coffee while I am out?” To which I know the answer is always yes, but even if it wasn’t I buy him a large stoked mocha and it brings a smile to his face. I had a beautiful realization that $4 is a small price to pay for my husband to feel loved by me.
God smacked me upside the head about a year ago.. I had missed church and I was watching crosspoint online church service when pastor Andy Stanley said this –
“LOVE is a VERB. You stay in love by doing. By loving one another like Christ loves us”
Holy dang. It never really dawned on me before that love was not emotion. Warm, fuzzy, butterflies. But after 4 years of marriage and 9 of knowing each other, our love it’s always rainbows and butterflies (but it’s compromise that moves us along… name that tune..) When I heard “you stay in love by doing” I was challenged.. it took me a long time to put it into practice but loving my husband by never saying no to an urge to love on him is how I stay in love. I love my husband through a full carousel of Keurig coffee selections in our kitchen, by keeping half and half in the fridge and making him bacon. I stay in love by telling him to make time for himself to go hunting, even if I could really use him at the house. I stay in love by telling him I love him, a lot. I stay in love by cooking things I won’t eat, by buying him dark beers I won’t drink, by washing the towels with extra oxi-clean so they don’t get that musty smell he hates. I stay in love by buying him Christmas presents that I know he would never actually buy himself, things we don’t need and that I don’t understand; but that I know he will love.
I stay in love by saying yes to sometimes frivolous things, to love like Christ, with lavish unchanging love.
And it’s changing the way we live and love for the better.